random thoughts

Yay! So my bread turned out great, I was happy about that. And it doesn't even crumble when you slice it thinly, that's what made me most excited. Spring finals are coming up, and then I'm off to Indiana to see my family! I miss them alot, it's hard being out here without any parents or relatives, I'm used to spending weekends with a grandparent at least once or twice a month. I also wish I could see my brother and sister grow up, Phil is apparently quite the talented guy. I secretly hope he doesn't study music when he goes to school, because I think he has alot of potential in other careers. It's so hard to stop developing a musical talent that you've invested so much time in and that you could potentially become a professional in.

I still mourn over 'giving up' flute, but at the same time I feel secure knowing that I chose a career that I have a passion for and is still very practical. I wasn't passionate enough about flute to carry it out through college professionally, that drive just wasn't there. I think its great that other musicians have a drive because they need that so much. But science really attracts me, I love how there are so many areas of study that directly apply to your every day life, and there is an endless frontier of discovery and information to learn. Not only does it apply to our every day life, it is crucial for our health and the environment.

Music seems to have a sort of finite existence to me, although you can always become better at your talent and find new and better music, I simply find it to have some sort of an end. With flute, for example, I would simply become good enough to maybe get accepted into an orchestrea, and then teach flute to highschool students. Maybe teach at a college level if I was really good. But again, I am not much for teaching it, because most students don't even practice near enough and don't care enough past getting the 'chair' they want or the grade in the class. Or to not look like a fool at a recital. It's just a frustrating thing, I think.

Then again, I have to remind myself that music is important. It brings joy to you and others, it brings confidence to those who master it, and it is a very good skill to develop one's creativity, motor skills, and makes you cultured. So it all depends on if that's your driving factor to teach.