Marriage and Housework

I watched the show "Hoarders" today (talk about nasty!!) and it immediately got me digging around for random junk. In the end, I threw away 5 trash bags of things we never use. Plus, I'm trying to "Feng Shui" our room for a pseudo-science project (which involves getting rid of all clutter under the bed, in closets, under sinks...) so it's been a busy day! It has actually taken a lot of time! And I'm still not done! I seriously de-clutter at least once every couple of months, and it's just amazing how papers & old knick-knacks will pile up. Clutter is evil, and I intend to destroy it!

Which brings me to another thought. Recently I have realized that Rich & I are still adjusting to life outside the Beehive home. We are still trying to create routines, share chores/ dinner making, find ways to eat together, and save money. It's kind of funny how different our life is now (and how much more poor-er), but the best thing is that we are really happy and comfortable.

One thing I have been reflecting on is the stereotype of women being the main keeper/ cleaner of the home. I think this makes a lot of sense when the woman is home all day long raising kids, etc, but what about working wives? Student wives? I don't want thisto seem like a husband bashing session, because Rich really does a great job offering/ being willing to help, but what I realize is that I feel a cultural pressure to do everything myself, because if I ask him, that would make me a lesser home-maker. Even though I know that sounds ridiculous when I say it out-loud, it's funny to me that I have this inner voice pressuring me to be the perfect molly mormon wife. But it's simply not realistic, it's impossible to get decent grades and maintain a clean apartment and healthy meals by myself. I'm exhausted! I was so excited to do these things when we were first married, but now that it's been two years I just don't have the same motivation to prove I'm a great home-maker. Probably because I realize that I can still be a good home-maker without all the work.

When we were at the Beehive home, Richard had the harder classes, the need to get perfect grades, and didn't come home most nights until after 7 when I had most of the chores done anyway. Now that it doesn't exactly matter for him anymore, I have realized that I am the one that needs more help because all of a sudden my schedule was not as easy as I expected (Isn't that always the case in college?)

One thing I have learned is to sit down and talk with your spouse and actually list expectations and plan who does what chores. I have caught myself getting upset because there would be random things dirty/ undone, and he'd be playing a game or something, but because I didn't ask him to help/ have an expectation, he didn't know what to do. At the same time, shouldn't men learn to look for things to clean? Or do women have a knack for that? Or just me?

Maybe everything will change once we have a dishwasher. Hours will be opened up for cleaning more important things, like the bathtub.